I wanted to greet you on Facebook like all the other anniversaries we've had before, but I just remembered that you don't have Facebook anymore. And then I was about to text you a really sweet message but our two-year-old wanted a hundred things from me because he's down with high fever. And suddenly the one-year-old spilled his fish crackers on our carpet and started crushing them one by one. I had to rush and get the vaccuum. Then I totally forgot to message you. You see, I love special occasions. Any reason I have for celebrating something makes me excited, especially if I get to celebrate us. I get to dress up all pretty. Surprise you with notes or little gifts all day. Then you'd take me out on a date at night and we'd have this fancy dinner.
But our dates haven't been like it used to. From our birthdays to anniversaries, we're lucky if we made it out the door before the kids notice. We rarely get to go out without the kids. And going out just for fun isn't on the table anymore. We're responsible adults now, doing responsible adult stuff. We have bills to pay and tiny little human beings to tend to. And surprise surprise, it isn't easy on our relationship.
We don't need to splurge on a fancy restaurant to celebrate today. God knows our wallets can't handle any more expense. We just need to be together, and be happy that we are still together. We've forgotten what it's like to live the simple life - to be thankful for what we have or don't have. I don't want us to need more things in life to be happy. I want us to be happy with what we have right now - and that includes our relationship.
To be honest, I complain a lot. And I'm sorry for complaining a lot. I'm thankful that you're so patient with me - that you put up with my most unpleasant characteristic(s). I'm sorry for all the hurtful words that I've ever said while I was mad and even when I wasn't mad. I'm sorry for being selfish and self-centred. I don't want to be that kind of wife. I want to be the wife that loves you even when and especially when I don't love you. I can't promise you that in the years to come we'd be perfect, but I'm most definitely sure that God created us perfectly to match each other's imperfectness.
Photo by Paul Vicente