On desiring what is good

I grew up with a big appetite for adventure. I was quite a troublesome little girl. I was always curious and would constantly get myself in trouble. I like the thrill that came along with it. I was an adrenaline junkie. I would do certain things just to get a rush of excitement. When I was a child, I got bored too easily. I must've had so much energy to waste. But this characteristic of mine had developed into a bad attitude. And like any hormonaly-unbalanced teenager, it caused me to do things that weren't right that lead me to danger. I grew up angry at the world for being so "unfair" - only to realize that I was the one out of line. 

One day, I woke up and got bored of being the defiant-self-centered girl that I was. I got tired of wanting to do bad things. It got too easy for me. I could get away with it too easily. I figured doing the right thing was harder than doing what was wrong. Right things are usually less fun. My appetite usually craves for something that would get me in trouble. But wanting the right thing had become a challenge - which then became exciting for me.

Since then my troublesome self has tried to do what is hard, which is wanting the right things. I've also learned that doing the right thing is completely different from wanting the right thing. And now, this is my prayer for my children - to have the desire for what is good.

My dearest Zaki,

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil. Cling to what is good. (Romans 12:9)

//inspired by these two lovely ladies: Ashley & Ruth.

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