I am so defeated, and it's only January.

The year has just begun, but defeat lies heavy on my shoulders. All these worries, they steal my thoughts and captivates my heart. I am a slave to my emotions. Just
how do we love the unlovely? How do I tame this frustrated heart of mine? I fall so short of all things holy. I am so defeated and it's only January.

Have you ever felt this way?

How do we keep going when we know we still have to persevere through the noisy, the dirty, the frustrating bickering - the unlovely? What hope do we have? What can we look forward to? We all hope for better tomorrows. But first, you should have hope.

And this is my hope. To constantly remind myself of what lies ahead. The prize of eternity with my King is nothing compared to my selfish desires from this world. I want to desire eternity of dancing with my King. I want to. But yet, I do not always. I am so selfish.

So why should He listen to me? Because He is true to His word. He is faithful. He promised. 

When I cry out in the stillness of the moment, I find joy. Here is my comfort. I am safe. If it were up to me, I would never leave here. But everyday, I am challenged. Every day, I am asked to be stronger, to be better, to be wiser. Sometimes, I do not want to be the better one. But He calls me, and calms my heart. He steadies my tongue and holds my hands.

Love the unlovely, He tells me.

Hope is here. To be able to love more, to complain less. To see beauty when I least expect it. The year has just begun, and yet He's already hard at work in my heart. He reaches out to me. Picks me up. And flick defeat off my shoulders.

And tells me, love the unlovely, one more time.

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