Last Sunday, I was blessed enough that both my boys were asleep during service. I actually got to sit inside the sanctuary the whole time without getting bothered. And God spoke to me in that precious hour that I sat there.
He isn't interested in my list of things to do. He isn't interested in the gifts I give others (although it is a good thing to give). He is interested in the state of my heart. If I do/give/say something but my heart says otherwise - what good does it do? My heart is so wicked. It's hard to admit. I don't like being "holier than thou", self-righteous and selfish. But sometimes, to be honest, I am. And this season, He wants me to know that. I don't need anything else. I just need Him. To rest in Him. To surrender my heart. To give my best to Him. He wants my heart.
And despite the loneliness I burden this Christmas, despite the undecorated house, despite all that I worry about - I have joy. Because when God sent Jesus here, joy rained down. It was glorious. Oh, how I long to see my King. This is my joy. And that is Christmas right there.
On a completely different note, the following photos are what I've been busy about the past few weeks:
Babysitting a preschooler (my nephew) while taking care of my boys (a toddler and a baby) is super fun and exhausting. Mostly, exhausting. Actually, it's super exhausting.
But while the boys were busy, I managed to bake my very first cake. Imagine that? Watching 3 boys while baking? Not such a good idea. But I baked so I could practice for Super Zaki's birthday cake next week. Which turned out I had a little bit of that skill tucked in my sleeve somewhere.
Boys with balloon as swords? Why not? It kept them busy. And it made me happy.