Meant to be broken

A long time ago, I didn't know I was self-centred. Oh, but I was so self-centred. I didn't care about anything else but me. I didn't know that there were others like me out there. They are just as hurt as I was, just as lost and just as broken. I thought I was the only one. It wasn't that I didn't care about others, but it was that I didn't know. I was ignorant.

And I learned the hard way that people were broken. We were made broken. And we were meant to be broken. It took awhile but I finally understood that God created us that way. But isn't God perfect? Then why would he create broken people? He made us broken not so we can fix ourselves, but so that He can fix us over and over again. This ache we have for wanting to be so alive. That longing we have for something missing. The way we try so hard to find the perfect relationships, the best friend, that someone to lead us. The way we strive so hard for success in life. We were meant to be broken so we would go out there and find Him.

Our spirit screams for Jesus in tiny little whispers, in random little ways. Yet our souls cannot hear it. We scream more of that intimacy, more success, more excitement in life. But we don't need all that. We just need Jesus. We will find our satisfaction there. And I have to remind myself every day, I don't need all that. I just need Jesus. 

I realized we are all looking for something that we cannot find here. We are all but wandering souls. Only God can fill that ache, that missing piece, that sorrow. Only God can satisfy. And He will. He has seen me through again and again. He may have let me wait a very long wait, but he has never let me down. I may have been a mischief to Him but I have no doubt that God listens.

And if you are feeling a little bit more broken today than you were yesterday, don't be afraid to break. I know I am. I'm preaching to myself as I type this. But let yourself be broken today. There is beauty in this brokenness.