How do you end a year right?

How can we say we've ended the year right? Is it by mustering up all our energy into cleaning out our closets? Or is it by preparing our selves mentally by listing our New Years Resolutions? Is there even a right way to end the year?

These are the questions in my head as I try to grasp every last minute before my year ends. Half the world is well into 2015 by now. And I'm still half a day away to 2015. I'm so last year, as one can put it. I feel rather stuck, not because of that silly time difference. But mostly because I'm sandwiched in bed between a snoring two-year-old and a drooling 8-month-old. I expected my last 2014 day to be productive. I spent last night cleaning our kitchen. I planned to get some laundry done today. And maybe get our bookshelf cleaned and organized. I had plans for today to get myself ready to end the year right. 

But tantrums were thrown and tears came running, all my plans for today ruined as I tried so hard not to punch a hole in our wall. My boys and special occasions don't mix very well. Instead, I am stuck in bed half napping, half trying to put words out of thoughts to figure out why. 

I wish I had cliches and good vibes to throw your way as you start/end the year. Instead, I only have the bare naked truth of a mom & wife whose heart is tired.
And here is the truth: God wants my heart. And that is the only thing I need to work on today. 

No need for cleaning, making crafts, baking, socializing (which I would all love to do right this minute); but instead, I am told to be still. Give my heart to Jesus. Because what better way is there to end the year than to give my creator what is His. To surrender my whole heart, including all the plans I have for myself; To be thankful for what I have and don't have this year; To find joy amidst the chaos of the everyday; To find satisfaction in Jesus despite our circumstances.

I'm so ready for 2015. But if He wants me to sit still in 2014 and wait a little longer on Him, I think I will.

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